A Journey Of Tania Khalil With Cancer

16195592_1824969097757371_2588431551449018104_nTalk to my hands Cancer
A small journey of Tanya with Cancer!
It was all started in November. I was doing a job in a Cambridge school along with my university life, I was so happy because to become an independent was always my first priority. It was a tough life when you came from the school after teaching and you had to go directly for the university in such a huge traffic of Karachi. I remember those days when I used to wait for the bus for hours. My parents always called me to take another bus or go from rickshaw for my convenience but I always choose to go by my routine bus. I was so frank with the passengers sitting or standing next to me. Every passenger almost know me there because of kindness, social work and as a motivational speaker, Allhamdullilah. I missed them. However, I left Karachi in the start of January because it was diagnosed that I am suffering from Hogkin’s Cancer Lymphoma Stage 4, Bone Marrow. To be a patient of stage 4 was not easy to digest. Somewhere it was the last stage. Dr advised me that he can cure it 50% not the 100%. Okay, when he told me, it was still okay for me. I didn’t take it serious. I was so chill and my chillness was started when I was in intermediate. I don’t take tensions, failures so seriously and I believe in myself Ubay sb thk hojaega agar mai strong hun aur agar Allah sath hain, agar duaen sath hain. I still talk to myself, Tania sb kuch krna bs kisi ka dil nh dukhana neyatun kay sath. I tried hard and if I did unintentionally ‘ I’m sorry people’ I never intended to- Trust me. Bs phr kya tha Chemotherapy start hui dard kay silsilay cheekhou’n mai badly. Kbhi Quran uthatay huye, Kbhi apny Gunah yad krty huye, Kbhi us insan ko yad krty huye jiska janay an-janay mai dil dhukaya ho, Kbhi anjaan logun ko calls krty huye, Unsy baten krty huye I never think for a while iska asar mjhpar ya family par kya hoga because mai janti thi galat tb hota hai jb galat kia jae. Jb Allah apky sath hun nobody can do anything. I talked to strangers in hospital, outside of the hospital to know their pain, to reduce my pain. I know their stories. Unhain bhi dard hota hai, they are struggling too. I love to know them, to be with them is still my Sukoon. Logun ko lgta hai bht farig insan hun mai unhain islye lgta hai kyun kay zindagi mai unhain kisi nay waqt dia he nh. Iss Cancer kay safar mai bht log mly mjhy kisi qareebi nay hath chora, kisi anjaan nay pakra. Bht logun nay judge kia aur bht sy bht kuch seekha bhi. Jo judge krty thaay unka kehna tha I don’t seem to them a cancer last stage patient just because I always smile and make them laugh. I motivate them for their temporary pains, to fight with their inner fights. I was so energetic from the start not from health but from morals- My morals are high – Higher for the humanity because I’m born to serve. Cancer ki iss journey mai bht logun nay duaen ki meray lye dil sy, kisi nay Kaaba mai, tau kisi nay Madina mai, aur kisi nay sajdun mai. Wesay tau I was never hopeless and I still I’m not aur agar 1% bhi kamzor par jati tau mjhy yakeen tha apnun ki duaon mai, un geyrun ki duaon mai jin kay lye kbhi kuch nh kia mainay par unhun nay din rat duaen ki meray liye. Meray wo dost jinhain lgta tha I don’t talk to them seedhy munh sy ‘ Munh mera bchpan sy aesa he hai’ I treated and still treating everyone equally except meray best friends kay. Tum sb nay bhi bht duaen ki meray lye, kbhi message kr kay puch lia krty thay ( Thank you) Thank you un duaon k lye jo tum logun nay ki. Chemotherapy khtm hui last 16 June 2017. Chemotherapy ki baad we need some test to make sure that Cancer cells are still there or not either active or non-active. I went for the CT Scan test on 4rth day of Eid. My Eid was worst than ever because of fear – fear of failure – fail in results of Cancer. However my CT Scan result came soon, meray hathun mai thii report. Reports kholnay sy phly andar sy feelings arhi theen kuch galat hai. I opened it as soon as possible – Shocked. Sb khatam , obviously I’m not a Doctor. According to me cancer was still there when I read the reports – crying hard sbkay saamnay hospital mai he. Itnay aansu bahae jesy us class ka result aya ho jis mai I failed twice. Wo saal yad agae, wo class yad agae kyun kay mai shurun sy position holder thii bs kuch galtiyun ki waja sy us class mai fail hogai aur phr zindagi bdal gai. CT scan reports nay bhi kuch aesa he kia tha- Mjhy bdal dia. Itna toor dia kay jurna mushkil tha. Wo Tania jo kbhi haar nh maanti- Maan gai Haar. Exact usi din kuch he lamhun baad Bone Marrow Exam tha mera kyun kay it is second major test and from this test we can know about the stage of our disease, which disease it is and where it is in our body parts. Three ladies were there in room. They were continously talking to each other while biopsy. I was wondering Aurtun kay baray mai sahi kaha jata ‘ Bari batuni hoti hain, Allah maaf kray female Dr’s sy’ I was in pain and were shouting mjhy anesthesia nh do mjhy kuch horha hai, my heart stopped, it was actually not breathing or rukny he wala tha bs. Brain was not working. Still I was telling them stop the process because in my last bone Marrow exam I had not experienced it. My Karachi Dr’s staff of Bone Marrow was so so so frank. It is a medical treatment jb kisi ko dard ho bht tau usay hug kro, touch kro, baten kro so from that pain ka pta na chalay. Oh people! My pain was so high in that room. It was so so so horrible kay shyd mai dobara jana nh chahungi. During biopsy I was praying , Please Allah save me- these women are so horrible and I want to LIVE. I really want to live. I want to achieve my goals, my goals to become one of the good writer, social worker and a lawyer. Please Allah save me, my family is nothing meray begair mai unki wicket hun. Inn churailun sy bcha lo mjhy. Finally process khtm I walked out from the room and phr sy crying hard and requesting to my father for not coming again here. Not even to take my reports. Din guzray, raaaten guzren, chuttiyan theen meri, I went to so many places because mjhy pta tha kay ub Chemotherapy wapas hogi with high dose. Hathun ko dkhti thi mai apny aur family sy khti thi no more Chemotherapy yar Nurses ko nerves ( Veins ) nh mlengi. Meray hath jawab dy gye hain, ub bs yar. Phr next day mainay socha let my strength gather again and get ready for the Chemotherapy. Kbhi tau khatam hoga cancer- Swal yeh hai akhir kb tak? Yeh zada strong hai ya meri Will power? Yeh mjhy nh hara skta. Kher Bone Marrow k results sy kuch 3 din phly bray mazay kiye yeh soch kay Yar wapas wahi life, wahi pain, wahi end mai 3 din ki chuttiyan from pain. Choro walk krro lambi, Abu kay kuch kaam krlo aur mazay kro. Reports agaen 15 July 2017 in afternoon. Hath mai result- Oh My GOD. Yeh result will change my life again. I started to read the reports. Ba-zahir tau sb thk lga mjhy. I was smiling, was laughing, even dancing 😀 Family was asking with a big smile btao na kya hua hai? I said 5th class ka result aya hai. Yeh wo class thee jis mai mjhy tez fever tha and I had to wait for my first position in hospital. Abu hospital atay thay aur mai puchti thee Unsy result agaya? Aur aesa he hua I got first position with a high score in all over the school. Bone Marrow ki report ly k we went to hospital ASAP and Dr said Mubarak ho reports bht achi aen hain. No more chemotherapy, no more medicines. Shurun krlo apna law. I said Seriously? Like seriously? Meri behn aur mainay itni zoor ki taali maari room mai kay Dr said aram sy aur bht zoor ka hsay hum. We left the hospital. Ghar mai they were reciting kuch verses. The moment I entered everyone hugged aik sath aur dance shurun krdia reports dkhy begair. My Abu was saying itny din sy mai khana tau khata tha but aesy he – bs aesy he. Aj dil krrha hai khana khanay ko. Aj SUKOON hai. Tau yeh thi meri kahani. Umeed nh haarna na apny haalatun sy, na khud sy, na maauishray sy. Apni beytiyun ko parhao, aagy barhao. Soch ko bdlo. Kyun kay soch bdlegi tbhi tau bdly ga ghr phr society phr shehar phr Pakistan! #HelpHumanity #DonateforCancer #BorntoServe #TrytobeKind #Fightforyourrights #MotivatePeople Thank you so much everyone meray lye itni duaen ki aur apki duaon ki bado’lat mai thk hun. Bht achi hun. Allah tau hain he hain par credit goes to you and my family. Hey best friends? I’m coming to Karachi soon :p

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Ramadan

Ramadan means the ninth month of the Muslim year, during which fasting is observed from dawn to sunset. Muslims keep fasting for one month and get to know about them a lot in this month especially how to be kind to everyone. How to control yourself from anger and backbiting. How to share your food with others without asking anything in return even shopkeepers sell their food free to the one who has a fast or to the one who needs food.

Through fasting we,  Muslims make our habit to settle in different lifestyle to increase our stamina of bearing in critical conditions when we will not have food, money, water and to how we will survive in these circumstances.

In this month of Ramadan, Muslims make themselves so close to their God that is,  the only one ALLAH as well as the Holy book of Muslims, has been revealed on their last messenger that is Hazrat Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him.

There is a verse in Quran regarding Ramadan that goes to:

Al-Qur’an:

“Ramadan is the (month) in which the Quran was sent down, as a guide to mankind and a clear guidance and judgment (so that mankind will distinguish from right and wrong)..” (Q 2:183)

Yes, Quran is for our guidance in which we get to know what is wrong and what is right. What we should do or omit to do. This month tells us the difference between needy one and the wealthy one.

Hadith:

The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained.” (Imam Bukhari)

We,  Muslims believe in Heaven that is Jannah  (Arabic: جنّة‎‎ Jannah), an eternal place for Muslim people, is the Islamic conception of paradise. The Arabic word Jannah is a shortened version meaning simply “Garden”. According to Islamic eschatology, after death, one will reside in the grave until the appointed resurrection on Yawm al-Qiyāmah) which will be for the one who fast in this month. We believe in Hell that is Jahannum and the further meaning is, those who doesn’t believe in God, rejects his messenger, didn’t obey his laws and hurt to his people, that are Muslim Ummah ( Ummah means community) because we know that at the end of our lives we all have to answer on the day of judgement in front of Allah.

Though there are few exceptions in Ramadan for those people who cannot keep fasting i.e pregnant women, traveller, sick person.

Your prayers will not be rejected and your wishes may come true through this month of Ramadhan.

Pretty benefits.

I am glad being a Muslim.

Keep fasting,

Be kind,

Avoid wrong deeds,

Ignore backbiting,

Happy Ramadan.

 

A Day With 5-6 Girls In A Bus

 

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A day with 5-6 girls in a bus who sells bangles, they have so many boxes in which they keep their selling material that is bangles. When they enter into the bus I was already sitting there. The moment when one of the girl came next to my seat and sit there I start making faces because those girls wore pretty dirty dresses and looks were extremely ugly. Maybe I couldn’t see their inner beauty as well as I didn’t see their outer beauty which was hidden from dust and poverty.

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They were gossiping with each other like they don’t care what’s happening to their around. A conductor was asking for fare to them in a very harsh way, I was thinking who the hell he is, talking so rude? Just because they work and sell bangles? And thinking again about conductor that did I ever talk to you harshly just because you are a conductor? I didn’t. Should I order you like a cruel ruler? I didn’t. Did I ever disrespect you? Again I didn’t, except when you were wrong. Who gives you a right to treat them like the way you treated? He was passing by her again and again and she didn’t say a single word to him. If it was me and he was passing by me I’m sure I didn’t permit him to touch again and again and use the route to reach in males compartment, definitely not.

Anyway, I have ignored all the things and start looking the girls who were talking to each other. Besides all, One girl said to another, Hey, Kajol ( a name of an actress in Bollywood) don’t push me. I was stunned when I heard an actress name from a so poor girl and making fun again on the behalf of that actress name. I asked to them, Have you girls watched a movie of that actress in your entire life? The girl laughed at me and said Yes, we are a fan of her. I said, Wow! It’s Cool, I expected something else like you don’t ever watched a single movie or drama in your whole life. Okay have you watched her movie that is “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai” and they replied, Yes we have watched. They made me astonished with their secret life – a life of poverty and enjoyment.

Then, I started to ask about her life, a girl who was seeing me, fortunately.

Me: So how much have you earned for a day?

She replied: 500 rupees 🙂

Me: Ahan, nice. What’s your husband do?

She: Shoes polish

Me: How much your husband earned?

She: 150 rupees

Me: Umm, Okay. Are you guys satisfied with this lower amount to survive in this society?

She: Yes , By the grace of Almighty God we are satisfied.

Me: Interesting.

And they walked away with their bangles boxes because the bus had been stopped at their stop.

Eid-Bangles-Designs-2015-For-Girls-4

Moral: My weird behaviour towards ugly people wear dirty dresses. They changed me, I mean my behaviour, my perception regarding them. And I know you couldn’t read it but yes one day you guys will read it or else your children and I love you ladies to change my life, my negative perception behind ugliness. Thanks to you Ladies 🙂 You made my day and I felt peace in my heart somewhere at that day the reason is you ladies and your bangles too 🙂

Talk to strangers,

Change your life,

Be positive.

 

 

I Am Missing You Happiness

What is happiness? I guess when we get the 1st position? Or when we eat Kulfa and Biryani on the road with best friends? No, I think, When we make laugh to people because of our stupidity? Still, I’m not sure, Perhaps, Have you ever give a compliment to an unknown person that you are cute, Ever? I did :p And the person replied your request has been received by unknown person, Haha, I was not expecting from a person a single reply actually I was expecting some positive reply like Thank you 🙂 You are more beautiful :p Something positive on social media but the people are pretty disappointed with each other that’s what the reason we cannot expect a single positive response from them, Maybe they think that your profile is fake so they never expect a compliment from a beautiful girl or from a handsome boy, I mean seriously, why we guys and girls cannot appreciate other beauty, the natural beauty. Don’t we have guts to encourage them, to make them feel special or to realize them you are the beautiful invention of God in this world? I know there are people in a majority to discourage each other at every step of life. I feel happy to give compliments to people who are known and unknown to me. They will not  give you a response but yes they feel happy from their inner side too. And I’m glad when I make them smile, it’s not society who are making the mentality of social sites users negative, It’s we, our single good step can make anyone smile and smile is a gift by Allah. It’s our natural duty to make them laugh, a good deed you know. Well that’s happiness for me and I didn’t intend to make you bore people :p So yeah I can make so many funny faces and can speak in a funny voice to make you laugh :p It’s just that I want to see you more happy people, NOTHING ELSE. Happiness is when I call you football at your back, Calling someone football is a good thing? It’s not and I know that, but its sound cute 🙂 When I used to watch serials of Son-pari, Shaka laka boom boom, Hatim Tai, Ssshh somebody is there, That is happiness. Snatching a remote control from siblings that’s happiness. Giving a nickname to friends and making fun of their health is happiness. And I really missing you Happiness.

Think for a while,

Spread Happiness,

Have patience,

Be Positive and frank,

Always smile 🙂

 

When Light Comes From WiFi

wifi pic

 

I was just sitting all alone and was thinking about the light comes from WiFi. I know you will like, Oh !she is so free to think about WiFi light seriously ? So,yeah i’m pretty free to think about light rather than you.And its not me just who thinks about it.Everyone is thinking about WiFi light right now :p .

Have you ever noticed your WiFi light always there for you ?  Isn’t strange that light loves you alot more than anything  ?

WiFi light connects you to many people .It seems to me you are in love with WiFi light .Relax i’m not gonna off your light.Have you ever noticed your faith towards WiFi which connects you to your loved one people,topics.stories,videos ?

                                                      Hope sustains the world 

Which means you are in hope always but you never know where it will lead you.Your hope can lead you to reach your destiny and your doubts on this light can lead you to destroy your own life.

Usually you become hamfisted  and destitude  because of this light .You shouldn’t become pevish when you are doing any sort of work through this light.

Most of us are facing one of the situation that is Agrophobia which means the fear of open spaces.The things and words which you canna do or say in your real life ,in open spaces-You start sharing ,watching those things through this light.

Make your life like a gregarious person.Don’t make yourself inhibited and diffident.Why you want to live you life like a quixotic person ? Com’on boys and girls start expressing your words ,feelings,actions ,dreams not through from this light ,through your real inner light which is coming from your heart and hopes that’s what exactly i’m doing nowadays to be honest.

Give light to people ,they will find their way

In the end i would suggest you don’t depend on this light always,be practical and hope for the best whatever you will face or facing right now in your life because of different lights and connections you cant STOP-Start living your life again by being practical.Your life and your hopes in a practical way is like a gold –And a golden key can open all the doors.

Thankyou 🙂

Love

Love is a beautiful feeling which you don’t express to anyone usually.Love has so many meanings according to different people.The world is so big and in this world you will find so many people so you cannot define love in a particular meaning.

Love can be for anyone , it can be for your family,the people you love the most,the things,the places,the wishes.

You will never lie to the person,you love the most.If you are gonna lie to them ,you face a knotty situation and to come out from that situation you have one way and that is say TRUTH to them.Your love for them is mitigate and interminable.

Your father said in his heart:I love you more than yesterday less than tomorrow

Your mother expressed:You broke my heart but i still love you my child

Your siblings:Duh,Ofcourse i love you bit :p

People love:The way they looked at you :p

Things love: You smile when you see your most loving things in front of you and start dancing :p

So the word is beautiful , the feeling is beautiful but we are making it pretty boring and not expressing in front of our loved one.Start expressing your love for your dreams,wishes,family,people.

Spread love when you don’t want to spread it especially.

I love you all,Do you ? No ?

I love you too guys

Thank you for reading 🙂

How Can We Reduce Food Wastage From MEDC ?

food wastge

We don’t know the value of food because we don’t care and if we don’t care how we realize it is hurting others who don’t have resources to get food. It is affecting our environment you know ? O yes you know, but you are ignoring it maybe you have money bank to buy any kind of food.

Your wastage food can fulfill the needs of those who are needy and starving just for the food but again WE DONT CARE – Why we don’t care ? WHY ? I know the reason,

“If the food would as expensive as Zenvo, we would polish it and look after it”

So many of food and fruits aren’t eaten just because of shape and color. A great research on human behavior shows that we avoid that food and fruits which are edible but not looks good. Isn’t it ?

 “You waste life when you waste good food”

A number of people are in chronic hunger  one of the great reason is we are wasting our water to wasted crops and that is the need of 9m people.Your food should be eaten. If you cannot eat food that much-needed, you should decide next time to prevent that wastage of food.

1) Plan

2) Buy less

3) Learn the tricks to put the food at exact place 

4) Bring old food to the front of the fridge and put the new one in back

Use your senses that are smell and sight, don’t focus on expiry dates because it can be changed from packets. Your fruits and vegetables shouldn’t be together because fruits give off a high level of ethylene. Greenhouse gases come from waste food too.

A child dies  every 5 seconds because of hunger ” Do you know? Or don’t want to know?

In the last, I would suggest you love your food, health, environment and people too.

Before you waste your food think about it.

Thank you

 

Child Labor In Pakistan

child lbr

In Pakistan around 25 million children are out of school and working as a labor.Those little hands aren’t made to lift the weight, they are to carry the books , to play with toys.Their age is to play with friends not with bricks and machines.

It is not just a social issue as well as an economical issue so its really obvious it is making a difference in our economy.Who will think about it ? WE ..But again WHO CARES ? Yes we think for a while , and after a second we forget what we have to do for those children.

They start earning between the age of 3-14 because a good salary by government is not given to them.Their families aren’t established economically so they can not provide any basic facilities to their children.Our economy is either bad or our heart ?.Lets educate the children by giving them free education.Do you have a time for them ? -Again NO

Ron Swanson said: I got my first job when i was 9.Worked at a sheet metal factory.In two weeks , i was running the floor.Child labor laws are ruining this country.

They are ignored by us,their tears and shouting are ignored by us.Those innocent faces deserve a kind response from us.We don’t want to know what they are expecting from us.We have forgotten our responsibilities towards them.Literally we have forgotten and the reason is we are too stuck in our so called personal life and problems.Apart from these problems we should THINK.

They have a right to get the education,haven’t they ?.They have a right to enjoy their lives.In Pakistan we have so many articles,ordinance,acts and rules.But nobody is implementing these rules,ordinance in a pretty strict way.

One CHILD

One BOOK

One TEACHER

One PEN 

One COPY

Can change the world .

It is a socially accepted crime in BOOKS only , they aren’t our children .So why would WE CARE ? Right ? Please Stop thinking like that.

There is no reason,there is no excuse,Child labor is child abuse

Stop Child Labor

Think about it

Thank you .

Failure Is Success

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Everyone has different opinions about success.For me success is to achieve your goals,and for that achievement you have to Think -Idea-Imagination-Implement that imagination in your real life -Time manage-Struggle -Do Hard work-Try-you will fail-try-try-try-you will fall again-Try again -Focus-Goal-Now you are about to achieve and finally you got your success.

The struggle you are doing today will develop you for the strength you need for tomorrow.Imagine you have to do a very horrible task like a presentation,speech,debates,competition in any game,have a meeting to your boss or a horrible teacher or a person you think he/she is better than you and you can’t face them just because you think -YOU-its you who think you can’t do it but you can, you know ? yes you can.

As Neale Donald Walsh said : Life begins at the end of your comfort zone 

In the same way Tania said : Success begins at the end of your comfort zone

Come out from your comfort zone.Stop taking permissions,suggestions from anyone if you want to achieve goals,JUST STOP.You know what people you are afraid from your so called fake reputation like if you are doing this work and you will fail to do it,you think that now i canna face the people because i have failed to do it in my past.

O yes it was  your past and here past means the failure which you have faced 2 mints ago,2 years ago, 2 months ago,20 years ago.Com’on why you think like that ?So pessimist.You have to think positive like a optimist person.I’m not saying being a optimist person you have to give up all your rights ,self respect etc .

i would like to  conclude the whole blog in a very short para as an advice people shouldn’t stop hardworking,Be positive,Start believing in yourself .Remember you are more talented than others

Thank you