A Journey Of Tania Khalil With Cancer

16195592_1824969097757371_2588431551449018104_nTalk to my hands Cancer
A small journey of Tanya with Cancer!
It was all started in November. I was doing a job in a Cambridge school along with my university life, I was so happy because to become an independent was always my first priority. It was a tough life when you came from the school after teaching and you had to go directly for the university in such a huge traffic of Karachi. I remember those days when I used to wait for the bus for hours. My parents always called me to take another bus or go from rickshaw for my convenience but I always choose to go by my routine bus. I was so frank with the passengers sitting or standing next to me. Every passenger almost know me there because of kindness, social work and as a motivational speaker, Allhamdullilah. I missed them. However, I left Karachi in the start of January because it was diagnosed that I am suffering from Hogkin’s Cancer Lymphoma Stage 4, Bone Marrow. To be a patient of stage 4 was not easy to digest. Somewhere it was the last stage. Dr advised me that he can cure it 50% not the 100%. Okay, when he told me, it was still okay for me. I didn’t take it serious. I was so chill and my chillness was started when I was in intermediate. I don’t take tensions, failures so seriously and I believe in myself Ubay sb thk hojaega agar mai strong hun aur agar Allah sath hain, agar duaen sath hain. I still talk to myself, Tania sb kuch krna bs kisi ka dil nh dukhana neyatun kay sath. I tried hard and if I did unintentionally ‘ I’m sorry people’ I never intended to- Trust me. Bs phr kya tha Chemotherapy start hui dard kay silsilay cheekhou’n mai badly. Kbhi Quran uthatay huye, Kbhi apny Gunah yad krty huye, Kbhi us insan ko yad krty huye jiska janay an-janay mai dil dhukaya ho, Kbhi anjaan logun ko calls krty huye, Unsy baten krty huye I never think for a while iska asar mjhpar ya family par kya hoga because mai janti thi galat tb hota hai jb galat kia jae. Jb Allah apky sath hun nobody can do anything. I talked to strangers in hospital, outside of the hospital to know their pain, to reduce my pain. I know their stories. Unhain bhi dard hota hai, they are struggling too. I love to know them, to be with them is still my Sukoon. Logun ko lgta hai bht farig insan hun mai unhain islye lgta hai kyun kay zindagi mai unhain kisi nay waqt dia he nh. Iss Cancer kay safar mai bht log mly mjhy kisi qareebi nay hath chora, kisi anjaan nay pakra. Bht logun nay judge kia aur bht sy bht kuch seekha bhi. Jo judge krty thaay unka kehna tha I don’t seem to them a cancer last stage patient just because I always smile and make them laugh. I motivate them for their temporary pains, to fight with their inner fights. I was so energetic from the start not from health but from morals- My morals are high – Higher for the humanity because I’m born to serve. Cancer ki iss journey mai bht logun nay duaen ki meray lye dil sy, kisi nay Kaaba mai, tau kisi nay Madina mai, aur kisi nay sajdun mai. Wesay tau I was never hopeless and I still I’m not aur agar 1% bhi kamzor par jati tau mjhy yakeen tha apnun ki duaon mai, un geyrun ki duaon mai jin kay lye kbhi kuch nh kia mainay par unhun nay din rat duaen ki meray liye. Meray wo dost jinhain lgta tha I don’t talk to them seedhy munh sy ‘ Munh mera bchpan sy aesa he hai’ I treated and still treating everyone equally except meray best friends kay. Tum sb nay bhi bht duaen ki meray lye, kbhi message kr kay puch lia krty thay ( Thank you) Thank you un duaon k lye jo tum logun nay ki. Chemotherapy khtm hui last 16 June 2017. Chemotherapy ki baad we need some test to make sure that Cancer cells are still there or not either active or non-active. I went for the CT Scan test on 4rth day of Eid. My Eid was worst than ever because of fear – fear of failure – fail in results of Cancer. However my CT Scan result came soon, meray hathun mai thii report. Reports kholnay sy phly andar sy feelings arhi theen kuch galat hai. I opened it as soon as possible – Shocked. Sb khatam , obviously I’m not a Doctor. According to me cancer was still there when I read the reports – crying hard sbkay saamnay hospital mai he. Itnay aansu bahae jesy us class ka result aya ho jis mai I failed twice. Wo saal yad agae, wo class yad agae kyun kay mai shurun sy position holder thii bs kuch galtiyun ki waja sy us class mai fail hogai aur phr zindagi bdal gai. CT scan reports nay bhi kuch aesa he kia tha- Mjhy bdal dia. Itna toor dia kay jurna mushkil tha. Wo Tania jo kbhi haar nh maanti- Maan gai Haar. Exact usi din kuch he lamhun baad Bone Marrow Exam tha mera kyun kay it is second major test and from this test we can know about the stage of our disease, which disease it is and where it is in our body parts. Three ladies were there in room. They were continously talking to each other while biopsy. I was wondering Aurtun kay baray mai sahi kaha jata ‘ Bari batuni hoti hain, Allah maaf kray female Dr’s sy’ I was in pain and were shouting mjhy anesthesia nh do mjhy kuch horha hai, my heart stopped, it was actually not breathing or rukny he wala tha bs. Brain was not working. Still I was telling them stop the process because in my last bone Marrow exam I had not experienced it. My Karachi Dr’s staff of Bone Marrow was so so so frank. It is a medical treatment jb kisi ko dard ho bht tau usay hug kro, touch kro, baten kro so from that pain ka pta na chalay. Oh people! My pain was so high in that room. It was so so so horrible kay shyd mai dobara jana nh chahungi. During biopsy I was praying , Please Allah save me- these women are so horrible and I want to LIVE. I really want to live. I want to achieve my goals, my goals to become one of the good writer, social worker and a lawyer. Please Allah save me, my family is nothing meray begair mai unki wicket hun. Inn churailun sy bcha lo mjhy. Finally process khtm I walked out from the room and phr sy crying hard and requesting to my father for not coming again here. Not even to take my reports. Din guzray, raaaten guzren, chuttiyan theen meri, I went to so many places because mjhy pta tha kay ub Chemotherapy wapas hogi with high dose. Hathun ko dkhti thi mai apny aur family sy khti thi no more Chemotherapy yar Nurses ko nerves ( Veins ) nh mlengi. Meray hath jawab dy gye hain, ub bs yar. Phr next day mainay socha let my strength gather again and get ready for the Chemotherapy. Kbhi tau khatam hoga cancer- Swal yeh hai akhir kb tak? Yeh zada strong hai ya meri Will power? Yeh mjhy nh hara skta. Kher Bone Marrow k results sy kuch 3 din phly bray mazay kiye yeh soch kay Yar wapas wahi life, wahi pain, wahi end mai 3 din ki chuttiyan from pain. Choro walk krro lambi, Abu kay kuch kaam krlo aur mazay kro. Reports agaen 15 July 2017 in afternoon. Hath mai result- Oh My GOD. Yeh result will change my life again. I started to read the reports. Ba-zahir tau sb thk lga mjhy. I was smiling, was laughing, even dancing ūüėÄ Family was asking with a big smile btao na kya hua hai? I said 5th class ka result aya hai. Yeh wo class thee jis mai mjhy tez fever tha and I had to wait for my first position in hospital. Abu hospital atay thay aur mai puchti thee Unsy result agaya? Aur aesa he hua I got first position with a high score in all over the school. Bone Marrow ki report ly k we went to hospital ASAP and Dr said Mubarak ho reports bht achi aen hain. No more chemotherapy, no more medicines. Shurun krlo apna law. I said Seriously? Like seriously? Meri behn aur mainay itni zoor ki taali maari room mai kay Dr said aram sy aur bht zoor ka hsay hum. We left the hospital. Ghar mai they were reciting kuch verses. The moment I entered everyone hugged aik sath aur dance shurun krdia reports dkhy begair. My Abu was saying itny din sy mai khana tau khata tha but aesy he – bs aesy he. Aj dil krrha hai khana khanay ko. Aj SUKOON hai. Tau yeh thi meri kahani. Umeed nh haarna na apny haalatun sy, na khud sy, na maauishray sy. Apni beytiyun ko parhao, aagy barhao. Soch ko bdlo. Kyun kay soch bdlegi tbhi tau bdly ga ghr phr society phr shehar phr Pakistan! #HelpHumanity #DonateforCancer #BorntoServe #TrytobeKind #Fightforyourrights #MotivatePeople Thank you so much everyone meray lye itni duaen ki aur apki duaon ki bado’lat mai thk hun. Bht achi hun. Allah tau hain he hain par credit goes to you and my family. Hey best friends? I’m coming to Karachi soon :p


She Has A Voice: Meant To Be Heard And Understood


I, Emaan Asghar is telling you the story of my life which I have spent in this patriarchal society, where, a girl is allowed to get an education but not permitted to pursue her dreams. A girl has a permission to stitch the clothes of opposite genders at home but to teach them at the university level in her own house just because they are boys, neglecting, the fact, she is a qualified girl, equally ambitious and can teach them better than others in that same society.

I won’t say these are the insecurities of parents towards their daughter because they care. Rather than these are the insecurities of every other person towards females that are someone else’s daughters, wives, sisters or female friends.

Why doesn’t this happen in the case of boys just because they are considered “the lamp ( Chirag ) of their family?” What is making them so strong in this society? Nothing but “Your support people” Why they require a tag of being ‘Chirag of the family’ to gain this? Are they insecure that at some point in future, a girl with the equal qualities will topple him down?

Why can a girl not raise her voice if she wants to achieve her goals like the same boys want to pursue? Why can a girl not become a public speaker, debater, social worker or a Chief Justice of Pakistan?

Why parents are so concerned about their daughter’s marriage rather than voicing for her better career? How can they be so sure that their daughter will be happy ever after? This does not end just here if they become so merciful and allow her to do what she wants, they still expect her to come back home early and serve her services like a maid whole life to her husband’s family, Why?

Isn’t it strange? A girl trusts her parents a lot . She does everything in her life according to her parents, right from staying back at home when her brother is out winning the sports trophies and parents go to raise his morale. Whereas, a boy can do whatever he wants to do with his life.

I am sorry for gender discrimination but do you really think it was a gender discrimination? Because I am a girl and I know how it feels when you have to drop all your aims because of your parents and for their reputation in the society, in a family, but they do not think even for a while what exactly their reputation is, in the eyes of their loved daughter. Do they really know the definition of reputation? Has even daughter a heart you know? A heart which can be donated for anyone in her family without her wishes, Strange! Here, her heart doesn’t belong to her, anyone can do anything with it which means there is no need to ask from her because “She is a girl and her voice will not be heard”

Let’s start reading this story, like the girl of the story is in your mind, try to imagine, it’s you – a daughter in male dominant society. Imagine it like you were the talented sister among your siblings, think for a while a traveler who is traveling with those backward mentality people who thinks a girl is just made for homely chores, a¬†girl is just a marriage material. Everyone wants to control her life, whether she is a sister, daughter, wife or a mother. Does it really sound cool?

Chapter 1:

Her Old School Life:

Result Day:

Mama:¬†Get up Emaan, it’s time to wake up and get ready.

Mama: Ohh god! This girl will never change!

Mama:¬†Are u even listening to me? It’s your final result today.

Saying her mother pulled the blanket she was covering herself with.

Emaan:¬†Mumma! Just 10 more mins, plsss. You know about last night. Auntie Faryal was teaching me Maths and that’s why I slept late. Please let me sleep.

But her mother won’t listen up. So, She had to sacrifice her sweet nap and wake up with a thud.

Mama: Thank god! wake up, finally РSaying this she left her room.

It was Emaan’s result day for the fifth class, which was to be held at Bahria Auditorium around 10:00 am today.

Mama: Everyone will be there except this girl because as usual, she will be a latecomer by the way Aleesha is there waiting for you outside the door and look at her she is already ready for school ceremony

Emaan: Are you serious? Is the result today? Oh my God! I have to get ready as soon as possible to reach there.

Emaan’s mother continued to talk while Emaan was getting ready, she was worried about her daughter’s result as always. So it was not for the first time that she was yelling at her on her result day that have come n gone!

Emaan lives with her parents, 3 sisters, 2 brothers, 2 aunts and 2 uncles in Naval Flats at Agra Taj Colony Lyari Karachi. She belonged to a middle-class family who lives in a two bedroom flat and that is quite difficult to adjust in this cold weather of summer (Sarcasm).

When she came out of the bathroom,

Mama: Get ready soon, I will ask Aleesha in.

Emaan: Okay Mama.

Mama: Take me with you.

Emaan: No! I am leaving with Aleesha. See you there. Allah hafiz.

Mama: But Emaan,¬†listen to me, please… Okay, see ya, Khuda hafiz.

Emaan: Reached at school auditorium just five mins before, she was happy but nervous too. Everyone was there except her dad.

She didn’t care about her mother’s existence. Maybe being a kid she doesn’t realize it yet, after all, at this age, everyone is not mature. In fact, we cannot expect maturity because they say, it comes from experiences, right?

Final Evaluation has been done to pick out the toppers for this year by her teacher Mam Saima who was the subject teacher of the English at that time. She was the best teacher among all and the best part was that Emaan liked her a lot because she taught Mathematics as well ( Completely opposite streams and yet she used to manage without compromising the subject matter, which earned her a lot of respect in her tiny heart)

It’s time to announce the results and the 3rd position went to Ambreen, please clap to motivate these students to achieve much more in the future, urged Mam Saima, the second place went to Aisha Zahid, Claps went on. Emaan started feeling nervous furthermore and she never had the confident in her that she was a talented student maybe because people never appreciated her. Emaan has a plain-looking, leggy, skinny girl type personality – who has a talent but no one is there to appreciate her just because she was a taciturn and she never shows off or maybe she is not cool like others but affectionate and here we go the last announcement, the first ¬†holder had got staggering 96% and that she was not just the topper of her class or batch but she had topped the school and it was a big achievement for her because she is about to go for her eye operation, having short-sighted and it’s quite pathetic in this age and we guess she gave her level best in this year. So, guys put a big hand for her to express our love towards her and with this I am glad to announce that the trophy goes to “Emaan Asghar”

Emaan was still sitting on her seat with her friend Aleesha beside her who had just got passing marks. However, Emaan was thinking about not to go on the stage. She always had a fear of stage – Stage Fright one can say. Mam Saima called Emaan once again to come up on the stage and take her trophy, a trophy which was waiting for her only!

Emaan was shocked to see the gargantuan love for her but she knew this love was temporary and that she will soon be forgotten. Even she was feeling bad for all those who had scored less, who could not get good marks and suffer from depression because there is no motivation for them by their family.

Now it’s time to introduce two kinds of female students, one – the ones who weep in the night for their marks and the lack of family support that they get and of course there are girls like Emaan who can score well without their family’s support. Yes, They can!

Besides all, a girl cannot groom without a family backing her. Especially for a girl who loves her father a lot and whenever she needs him, he is not there for her because he was busy in his politics. Emaan’s father was a typical guy, who was always busy to make a reputation in front of the so-called relatives and she knows about him that he had suffered a lot to turn his children’s wishes true. No doubts he had proved to be the best dad. Emaan’s father was the best she had ever found in her entire life. I think for every girl their father is the best. Isn’t it?

Emaan Asghar please come up on the stage and take your trophy said by Mam Saima again. Emaan’s reverie was disturbed and she tried to catch her Mam’s voice. She finally stood up and walked towards the podium. Here you go, trophy. Emaan took the trophy and was very excited and then she came towards her mother who was only waiting for her in the crowd. Her mother gave her a kiss on her forehead for the impeccable achievement that she had achieved.

Her mother wanted to say something but Emaan was in her own trance and she left the place without her mother, all she was integrated in today was the trophy in her hands. She came in her area Naval Flats, the moment she entered everyone were looking at her with smile and she felt herself like a celebrity though it was not the first time when she got trophy or highest rank but this time she was happier somewhere maybe it was the happiness to get admission in another school and to interact with new people. It might be the happiness to learn from new teachers, new syllabus and that she was eager to learn something new at a new place.

Chapter 2:

A New Step Towards Her Journey:

Her eye operation had done and now she feels good because there is no teacher to beat her on bad writing because the school rules are different where teachers cannot beat student and there is literally no one, ¬†who don’t know that she has short and long sighted problem which means everyone knows about her in the new school. She doesn’t want sympathy from anyone there, anyway, she took a time to get herself settled in a new environment.

Auntie Faryal:

Auntie Faryal was the sister of Emaan’s¬†father and she suffered a lot to get the position in computer center as a head. She was frank to everyone in her staff not even this everyone from others department praised her for being so nice to them. I’ve noticed her and I cannot forget, ¬†her eyes dreamed once or maybe her eyes yearn every day to achieved those aims which she cannot achieve being a part of a middle class typical or narrow-minded family.

Auntie Faryal was a teacher in computer center situated At Naval Flats KNCRE Lyari Karachi. She was so pretty, hardworking women who make her niece Emaan’s¬†so strong to learn complete copies and write the whole material in an hour. How is it possible to learn the complete 6 to 7 copies and then write it in 5 hours for a normal student?

However, Auntie was pretty obedient sister for his brother. She never complained that how is she surviving around them. Being a girl everyone wants to do the things according to their wishes and she was the one, plus, she knew that if she demands to his brother for anything he will not permit her for those things because he thinks that a girl shouldn’t wear elegant clothes from outside the home. Why can I not dress-up like my friends? Why can I not go outside to watch movies? On the other hand, you are going to your cousin’s house to play Ludo and you played there the whole night. What is the reason, man? Oh, you are a man? Why are you a man even? Because a female gave you a birth once, remember? Then, why you have gotten lots of importance from everyone? why not me? I have given all my services to you and your family.

Yes, It is your family, not mine because I will have another family when I will get married soon according to you so your family is not my family. Even, I give up my all rights just for the sake of you,  my brother, for the sake of your reputation, for the sake of the love which u have given me. I gave up everything, my dreams, my tears, my wishes. So many questions were coming out from her mind and heart but nobody was there to listen to her because She is a girl and her voice will not be heard and understood.

She spends her whole life – like a silent walker who just walk from the roads without creating any voice.

Does it happen in others families too? Or just in Emaan’s family?

Chapter 3:

Emaan’s Mother:

Mama, You Never Speak, Why?

In Islam, there is utterly no difference between men and women if it comes about their relationship to Allah is concerned, as both are promised the same reward for good conduct and the same punishment for evil conduct.

The Quran says:

“And for women are rights over men similar to those of men over women.” [Quran 2:228]

Everyone, whether male or female have to answer at the day of Judgment what they had done in their lives. Both are equal in front of Allah or they will treat equally when he will ask their sins and good deeds with each other. He will ask that who are you to decide the inequality among each other?

A female has an equal right over her man like he has a right over her. A wife has a right to ask from her husband, when, where and why he is going. She has a right to stop him from the things she doesn’t like at all. Fortunately, In our society, a wife does not have the right to at least ask from her husband because of the fear of disrespecting her in return.

In Islam, a wife should obey her husband but I must say there is a difference between obedience and dictatorship.

If a woman is an uneducated and she is not that confident as an educated wife then she loses her all rights for her husband and towards her children. Example:

She doesn’t have a right to take decisions for her children live. Maybe many of you will be like it’s not happening but it is. A father can take all decisions for his family without asking from his wife just because he is the head in a patriarchal society? Okay, If he asks from the wife or from the mother to support him for some decisions which he is going to take, what’s a big deal? He will do at the end whatever he wants to do as a so-called head. Oh man! She is your wife and she has a right to disagree on those decisions which she thinks as a mother that are not good for her children. Why don’t you support her just because you are a Head of the family that’s it? Ego Problem, Power Problem, Physical Fitness Problem.

Suppose, if we people treat our daughters, sisters, wives like the way they deserve which means if we educate them in a broad manner and if we give them a training in their childhood to become fit more than anyone else. Do you think a man can defeat her then? No, a man cannot, neither physically nor mentally.

Emaan’s mother was known as a ratbag¬†since she had just passed her 4rth standard. She got married to a guy who had done Masters in Politics. Sounds weird, eh? She became a mother at the age of 15. Way back into the past of our history it was a custom in our society that people used to get their child married at the age of fifteen especially the custom was for girls and the custom still continues in our so-called 21st century.

Her whole life is spent in shuffling through different domestic chores starting from preparing breakfast, sending kids to school, housekeeping, doing dishes and laundry, then in day taking care of her in-laws, cooking food for them, giving them time, this is how her life is being wasted and she could not get time for her own self to make her more valuable to the society than only for her in-laws.

Her wishes were, not to do the home chores but she did because of her husband, children, in-laws. She loved to do window shopping as well as if she doesn’t belong to a middle-class family she might be bought all the dresses and utensils for herself in a day. She loved to go with her husband but her husband never let her go with him in parties or in occasions, maybe he felts embarrassment to introduce her to his friends even to females.

She was crazy to go out for hanging out with her family but no one was interested in going with her, maybe everyone was busy, they were busy like they had to do all the work of this world whether if it comes about her husband, in-laws or her children. However, her most favorite places to go for shopping were Atrium Mall, Zainab Market, Dolmen Mall, Hyderi and favorite places for food were KFC, Burger King, Atrium Food Street, McDonald’s, Pizza Hut and much more. She had never visited such type of places in her entire life, Strange?

She heard those places name by her daughter Emaan who used to go there. She had seen those places when she traveled by bus and noticed the things and places around her.

Emaan told her mother many times that the food of some restaurants was pretty yummy. One day she told her mother again that she visited Pizza hut.

Mama: Why you come late?

Emaan: I was at Dolmen Mall in Pizza Hut. Oh, Mama, Deals were awesome there and was in our budget. I mean, I went there with my friends.

Mama: Friends? Which friends you are talking about? You were in college,  right?

Emaan: yes, suddenly we planned.

Mama: How dare you to go to such places without asking from me. You know about your father right?

Emaan:¬†I know, he is not letting us explore ourselves by any means. I don’t think, I went there for a crime, for a relationship, to crossed my limits which have been prescribed in Islam.¬†Is it a crime to had a lunch with your friends out? To visit some new places? Com’on Mama we are in 21st century and a modernize society.

Mama:¬†Shut up! Do not argue with me. You can argue to you father as you know him very well as you said but don’t you dare to go out with your friends next time it’s not a good thing in front of your father. Get it?

¬†Emaan:¬†I don’t get it, he can go wherever he wants to go but you, me and Auntie Faryal cannot? Is it justifiable?

I know you love to go on such places too but you never say to your husband just because you are an obedient wife and do not want to argue with him because he won’t permit you to go for hangouts and to explore yourself.

I cannot live such type of life which I am having right now, ¬†then, ¬†how you survived in these boundaries from 35 years till now? You never showed your wishes to him, Why mama? Don’t you have a heart? How come you bear this torture mentally?

Mama: Will you please just shut up Emaan? Or else I am gonna call to your father that she is teasing me a lot and what you just said? Am I not happy? I am happy, Allhamdullilah. He gave me everything whatever I have expected from him.

Emaan:¬†Oh yes! He gave you the money, a well-furnished house, AC, Generator stuff etc but that’s not a life Maa. Why don’t you understand? Why don’t you speak – the words which you have never said? It’s irritating me.

Mama:¬†Enough is enough! You cannot go outside to such places without your dad’s permission and that is final although we cannot afford your these expenses.

Emaan: Why I have to take his permission? Why not from you? Why don’t you realize your importance Maa? Is it necessary to inform him every time when we know he will not letting us go maybe somewhere he is afraid of the society of his past incidents happened in his life that does it mean he will bind us because of his fear? Com’on Maa, I don’t want to ask from him anymore for little things. I know your importance and I have asked from you – you gave me permission – what else more?

Expenses? I go with my friends and I don’t have to pay all from my side – we manage the bill together. It’s not about money sometimes, It’s about mentality, restriction, boundaries somewhere in our society but people are pretending they have not bound their daughters, wives, sisters.

I will go again, ¬†you and your husband’s restrictions cannot keep me in this jail kinda house.

She left the place and her mother was thinking about her that she is stupid and does not know about her father arrogance and strict mentality.

Chapter 4:

Emaan Is Exploring Herself:

Emaan left the place as she was angry at every person of her family because nobody is out there to listen what she is trying to explain. In her family, everyone is controlled by her father, why so? What is the need to control women? Okay, she is not that emotional fool or dangerous for the society as everyone says.

People say women can be dangerous for the society if she will not control by man. Oh Man! She is a human , not a healthy buffalo, alright?

People say we don’t make differences between our daughters and sons. We educate our daughters like the way we educate our sons in fact we expect more from daughters rather than from sons. If it is real then why all the topics sum up on one line that is ” You are a girl and you cannot do the things whatever you want to do”

Why has a boy much freedom in our society? ¬†Why cannot I do things of my own wishes? Is it a sin? I want to travel in different countries at my own expense all alone. I want to talk to so many people around me and all over the world as well. Is it a crime? Why are you binding me with your strict words? I am an ideal daughter, does it mean I have to sacrifice all my dreams for you and for this society? I want to become the best debater. I want to attend so many events to explore myself and If sometimes I might come late at home, does it mean I have done something wrong? Ain’t you aware from Karachi Traffic Law And Order Situation?

If your son wants to become a Psychologist and he wants to go abroad for further studies in abroad, you will arrange money for him, right? Why not for me Dad? When I have demanded you that I want to go for higher studies in Uk, you said I will see If I will have money for you. Why will you see? Why can you not arrange money like for your son you have arranged in a day, I remember ( Emaan was recalling her memories alike her mother she had never said to anyone those questions coming from her head )

In our society, we don’t discuss some topics very openly just because we are so shy to talk openly or being a Muslim we think that we cannot discuss but we can. Just think for a while about those girls and boys who are involved in bad activities, in vulgar conversations just because their parents are pretty strict and they never feel that their children need their time and frankness especially between the age of 17-20.

We should teach our children before this age or at this age to make them aware of bad activities. Our generation is not aware because our parents & society never think about it, maybe, they don’t get time to spread awareness between each other.

Emaan wasted her time, talked to boys on social media, phone calls. It was not her fault, it was the fault of the society and parents who discouraged her a lot being a girl and didn’t support her at every step of her life when she needed. Her college years passed and then she got entered into University level and started MBBS, following her parent wishes and tried to make it true.

Suddenly, she realized to groom herself that she is not made for MBBS and If she wanted to pursue this field further for her parent she had to polish her hidden talents to groom herself. She had to fight for her rights. She had to prove everyone wrong that she was not just the student of MBBS she was made to achieve something more.

She raised her voice in front of her parents. She started to struggle to get her reasonable freedom and rights Рthe right of speech and expression which has not been allowed to express in our family and in our society being the part of a patriarchal country. She gave words to her voice and spoke it to those travelers backward mentality people and made their mouth shut that daughters are not made for kitchen only, they are not made to sacrifice their dreams.

Message by Emaan to everyone who is reading this story especially to girls.

I respect your opinions and I have not intended to offend anyone. Dear Girls! Raise your voice and do not compromise on your dreams. Maybe many of you will not accept the reality Рthe girls are facing in our country. However, I have shared my story to all of you because I have a voice meant to be heard and understood.

She Has A Voice : Meant To Be Heard


I, Emaan Asghar is telling you the story of my life which I have spent in this patriarchal society where a girl is allowed to get an education but not permitted to pursue her dreams. Where a girl has a permission to stitch the clothes of opposite genders at home but to teach them at the university level in her house just because they are boys, neglecting the fact, she is a qualified girl, equally ambitious and can teach them better than others in that same society. I won’t say these are the insecurities of parents towards their daughters because they care. Rather than these are the insecurities of every other person towards females that are someone else’s daughters, wives, sisters or female friends. Why doesn’t this happen in the case of boys just because they are considered “the lamp ( Chirag ) of their family?” What is making them so strong in this society? Nothing but “Your support people” Why they require a tag of being ‘Chirag of the family’ to gain this? Are they insecure that at some point in future, a girl with the equal qualities will topple him down?

To be continued here . . .


GPA Matters?

Sir! I have not passed matriculation but I can defeat any football team at international level. My parents told me once If you play football like you play and do not study, we will not permit you for the future to go outside and play on the streets because we want your Grades man.

Sir! I have no commands on languages but I know the business one. Does It mean I don’t know to handle the clients in my own national language of yours company? Grow up dude! You have not done a single deal with anyone yet. Look at your consignments how cheap it is. That’s what the reason people are not buying your products. Sir! I have no contact in the market but I have tried my level best to sold my products and I did it. I have to spend a small journey and I can make you sure I know the language of business.

Mam! I am good at teaching but I never got good marks. Still, I can educate your students and make them human. Listen Ms! We don’t want to make them human, we want their Grades. But I can make them human, a better-educated human for society? Give me a chance? No! We want experienced teachers. Experienced? She means those teachers who can make a fool to anyone for the sake of money and they never know how much a student dependent on those experienced teachers and expecting much.

The era has been changed. Today’s people are not sincere to their profession like the old era people were.

I know our society wants grades but forget about them.

Your GPA and experience don’t matter but your talent, confidence, sincerity, skills. For God sake stop trying to impress your family or friends from your GPA and make sure you are talented in every field of your life to defeat anyone. Stop struggling for your GPA and starts struggling to groom yourself for next level.

Did I say to stop study? Ahan Na ( No)

So are you ready to serve your country?

Ready to polish your hidden talents and others?

Ready to educate everyone around you?

Ready to give knowledge to others?

I am expecting from you one and only one answer that is YES! WE ARE READY AND WE PROVED IT!




Ramadan means the ninth month of the Muslim year, during which fasting is observed from dawn to sunset. Muslims keep fasting for one month and get to know about them a lot in this month especially how to be kind to everyone. How to control yourself from anger and backbiting. How to share your food with others without asking anything in return even shopkeepers sell their food free to the one who has a fast or to the one who needs food.

Through fasting we,  Muslims make our habit to settle in different lifestyle to increase our stamina of bearing in critical conditions when we will not have food, money, water and to how we will survive in these circumstances.

In this month of Ramadan, Muslims make themselves so close to their God that is,  the only one ALLAH as well as the Holy book of Muslims, has been revealed on their last messenger that is Hazrat Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him.

There is a verse in Quran regarding Ramadan that goes to:


“Ramadan is the (month) in which the Quran was sent down, as a guide to mankind and a clear guidance and judgment (so that mankind will distinguish from right and wrong)..” (Q 2:183)

Yes, Quran is for our guidance in which we get to know what is wrong and what is right. What we should do or omit to do. This month tells us the difference between needy one and the wealthy one.


The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained.” (Imam Bukhari)

We, ¬†Muslims believe in Heaven that is Jannah ¬†(Arabic: ō¨ŔÜŔĎō©‚Äé‚Äé Jannah), an eternal place for Muslim people, is the Islamic conception of paradise. The Arabic word Jannah is a shortened version meaning simply “Garden”. According to Islamic eschatology, after death, one will reside in the grave until the appointed resurrection on Yawm al-QiyńĀmah) which will be for the one who fast in this month. We believe in Hell that is Jahannum and the further meaning is, those who doesn’t believe in God, rejects his messenger, didn’t obey his laws and hurt to his people, that are Muslim Ummah ( Ummah means community) because we know that at the end of our lives we all have to answer on the day of judgement in front of Allah.

Though there are few exceptions in Ramadan for those people who cannot keep fasting i.e pregnant women, traveller, sick person.

Your prayers will not be rejected and your wishes may come true through this month of Ramadhan.

Pretty benefits.

I am glad being a Muslim.

Keep fasting,

Be kind,

Avoid wrong deeds,

Ignore backbiting,

Happy Ramadan.


Barking Dogs Seldom Bites

This proverb literally means there are few people who can brag just and cannot implement their gossips or words in their real life. 

There are so many people around you who thinks that you are a docile person and can handle with a single ultimatum. You have to be relaxed there,¬† and do not believe in them, in reality, they cannot do anything to you. These kinda people think it’s a kid’s stuff to make anyone daft. They believe in theory rather than to be practical. ¬†Even though they are not enough erudite to make their words real. They will make cock or bull story to prevent you from doing your things and task so does not trust them and keep doing your work with your passion and hard work.

To sum up the above paragraph we can say:

“Actions matters not your words”

People can forget your words but your actions will remain forever. 

We can elaborate this proverb through this example,

When our elections held, our politicians talks a lot¬†and do nothing after they win the elections. So, what is the benefit of your bragging man? Prove it you’re the best politician instead of wasting our time to listen to your boring speeches.

Those who are just saying they want to change the world or their country, Dear Readers, you have to change yourself  first to change your society. Please do not waste your and our time to grasp your meaningless speech. Start it now to achieve your goals by your actions silently.

So are you ready to take steps for your life and for people?


We Need A Change

We need a change, a change in our society, a change in the world, a change in our behavior, a change in our government, a change in law, a change in our ethics, a change in our actions, a change in our mentality, a change in our gathering so many things are here and there to change, the list goes on.

We want so many changes but don’t want to change our lives first, and our lives come from HOME and our PREFERENCES, the question arises here, How? And the answer is, I really don’t want to tell you people just because I want you to think about it by yourself for a while?

Example 1: You love to wear your old clothes just because of your preferences or what can I say? You feel comfortable, when you prefer your old clothes you are just ignoring your new one clothes and that is TOTALLY wastage of your money – what is the reason of your bad economy? Oh yes! Economy starts from your house, from your small budgets, from your demands, supplies, your preferences. A total wastage of money and new clothes are literally destroying the economy.

You know what people, the money you are wasting because of your preferences can utilize on needy people.

Example 2: A bridal is wasting her money just for the one night or to want looks beautiful? Babe, you are already beautiful. What is the need to use the fake stuff for a day? Seriously for a day? Where are your speeches which you have done on stage to bring the change in society? Trying to bring a change from your make-up face and wasting money instead of spending it on the rights things, on the right people like a poor one?

Example 3: Government is giving you so many funds. Has the fund reached to the institutions? Organizations? Patients? Labors? General Public? Or the people have eaten  the money? Such a corrupted people exist in our society and make speeches/ promises in front of the everyone to bring a so-called change by themselves, Wow!

We, youth can bring a change,  believe me. Do the social work with your honest intentions. If you have NGO please pay attention towards the needy people and the fund giving by the general public to you just take care of their selves and make sure you are providing the stuff related to their basics needs that is , education, food, shelter and sports. And yes sports is the basic need too. When children/youth play physical games they will involve more in currcular activities and social activities as well.

If you want to bring a change start from yourself first from your home. Change the mentality of the people around you not just by your words but by actions. I know in the start you will face difficulties but at the end, you will win trust me and trust on your inner talents which are hidden from the society and from your home.

Raise your voice against corrupt people whether in your house or around. Raise it otherwise it will be too late.

A Day With 5-6 Girls In A Bus



A day with 5-6 girls in a¬†bus who sells bangles, they have so many boxes in which they keep their selling material that is bangles. When they enter into the bus I was already sitting there. The moment when one of the girl came next to my seat and sit there I start making faces because those girls wore pretty dirty dresses and looks were extremely ugly. Maybe I couldn’t see their inner beauty as well as I didn’t see their outer beauty which was hidden from dust and poverty.

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They were gossiping with each other like they don’t care what’s happening to their around. A conductor was asking for fare to them in a very harsh way, I was thinking who the hell he is, talking so rude? Just because they work and sell bangles? And thinking again about conductor that did I ever talk to you harshly just because you are a conductor? I didn’t. Should I order you like a cruel ruler? I didn’t. Did I ever disrespect you? Again I didn’t, except when you were wrong. Who gives you a right to treat them like the way you treated? He was passing by her again and again and she didn’t say a single word to him. If it was me and he was passing by me I’m sure I didn’t permit him to touch again and again and use the route to reach in males compartment, definitely¬†not.

Anyway, I have ignored all the things and start looking the girls who were talking to each other. Besides all, One girl said to another, Hey,¬†Kajol ( a name of an actress in Bollywood) don’t push me. I was stunned when I heard an actress name from a so poor girl and making fun again on the behalf of that actress name. I asked to them, Have you girls watched a movie of that actress in your entire life? The girl laughed at me and said Yes, we are a fan of her. I said, Wow! It’s Cool, I expected something else like you don’t ever watched a single movie or drama in your whole life. Okay have you watched her movie that is “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai” and they replied, Yes we have watched. They made me astonished with their secret life – a life of poverty and enjoyment.

Then, I started to ask about her life, a girl who was seeing me, fortunately.

Me: So how much have you earned for a day?

She replied: 500 rupees ūüôā

Me: Ahan, nice. What’s your husband do?

She: Shoes polish

Me: How much your husband earned?

She: 150 rupees

Me: Umm, Okay. Are you guys satisfied with this lower amount to survive in this society?

She: Yes , By the grace of Almighty God we are satisfied.

Me: Interesting.

And they walked away with their bangles boxes because the bus had been stopped at their stop.


Moral: My weird behaviour towards ugly people wear dirty dresses. They changed me, I mean my behaviour, my perception regarding them. And I know you couldn’t read it but yes one day you guys will read it or else your children and I love you ladies to change my life, my negative perception behind ugliness. Thanks to you Ladies ūüôā You made my day and I felt peace in my heart somewhere at that day the reason is you ladies and your bangles too ūüôā

Talk to strangers,

Change your life,

Be positive.



I Am Missing You Happiness

What is happiness? I guess when we get the 1st position? Or when we eat Kulfa and Biryani on the road with best friends? No, I think, When we make laugh to people because of our stupidity? Still, I’m not sure, Perhaps, Have you ever give a compliment to an unknown person that you are cute, Ever? I did :p And the person replied your request has been received by unknown person, Haha, I was not expecting from a person a single reply actually I was expecting some positive reply like Thank you ūüôā You are more beautiful :p Something positive on social media but the people are pretty disappointed with each other that’s what the reason we cannot expect a single positive response from them, Maybe they think that your profile is fake so they never expect a compliment from a beautiful girl or from a handsome boy, I mean seriously, why we guys and girls cannot appreciate other beauty, the natural beauty. Don’t we have guts to encourage them, to make them feel special or to realize them you are the beautiful invention of God in this world? I know there are people in a majority to discourage each other at every step of life. I feel happy to give compliments to people who are known and unknown to me. They will not ¬†give you a response but yes they feel happy from their inner side too. And I’m glad when I make them smile, it’s not society who are making the mentality of social sites users negative, It’s we, our single good step can make anyone smile and smile is a gift by Allah. It’s our natural duty to make them laugh, a good deed you know. Well that’s happiness for me and I didn’t intend to make you bore people :p So yeah I can make so many funny faces and can speak in a funny voice to make you laugh :p It’s just that I want to see you more happy people, NOTHING ELSE. Happiness is when I call you football at your back, Calling someone football is a good thing? It’s not and I know that, but its sound cute ūüôā When I used to watch serials of Son-pari, Shaka laka boom boom, Hatim Tai, Ssshh somebody is there, That is happiness. Snatching a remote control from siblings that’s happiness. Giving a nickname¬†to friends and making fun of their health is happiness. And I really missing you Happiness.

Think for a while,

Spread Happiness,

Have patience,

Be Positive and frank,

Always smile ūüôā



This theory was basically developed by Bentham:

“The greatest happiness of the greatest number of people” according to this theory law be like this “Give happiness to maximum people at a maximum rate” because laws are made for people and people want to get rid of panic situations and live happily thus law fulfills people desires and finishes their dislikes for each other. However, In society contradiction come in desires, thus, it will be good for happiness if we give importance to those who are in the majority. According to this theory, everyone can do anything but with the mutual consent of another. Homosexuality was the result of this theory.

With reference to Austin

Anyway, Austin was a student of Bentham as well as he supports his theory so far. Austin promoted Bentham’s theory of utilitarianism, further, he said that we should focus on utility and happiness in law and for that morality should be separated, which means there is no value for morality, a law should be made according to the wishes of people, that is the reason to accept this theory, because of that morality values got damaged in the eyes of reasonable person of the society.

Further explanation:

Austin promoted Bentham’s concept of utilitarianism in this way:

  1. Law and morality should be separated from each other because morality values can change with emotions or emotional situations but the law cannot change.

In same crimes morality can change our mind to take different decisions,

For example

Case 1

Mr. A took some amount from Mr. B house and Mr. B saved that amount for the medicine of his ill son, and he couldn’t buy the medicines on time, the amount was taken by Mr. A illegally so he will consider as a theft plus as a murderer because of him, Mr. B child had died in hospital. Here Morality says he should be punished for theft and for murder and the punishment must be strict.

Case 2

Mr. C is a quite poor man, his children are hungry so he took some amount from Mr. D house. Here Morality says Mr. C should be punished but the punishment shouldn’t be strict because his intentions were not malice being a father of hungry children and he had no choice at that time to feed his children.Thus, in morality, we cannot find law uniformity which means equality that’s what the reason law should be separated from morality.

2. When Bentham gave the concept of Utilitarianism he rejected the divine law that is God made law but at that time Austin said we cannot reject Divine law completely in Utilitarianism but yes we can use it as a source of law, he further said that we should accept divine law on the basis of some reasons which means how many provisions of divine law in law can provide utility.

3. Austin said that to carry the law, it is necessary to make an authority for making the law and to govern it. He gave the definition of law according to this point and that is:

“Law is the command of the sovereign backed by sanction”

One more reason of Austin concept of Utilitarianism is, it is based on Positivism which means man-made law.